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COAST GUARD BOARDING STORY
by Noel Diefendorf
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January 5, 2009. This item, titled “Good Morning, Sir,” appeared in the December, 2008 edition of “Cruiser Log,” the newsletter of the North American Cruiser Association. The story makes a number of good points.
“Good morning, sir, have you ever been boarded by the Coast Guard?”
“Good morning to you, and no, I have never been boarded by the Coast Guard.”
“Very good, sir. We will be coming aboard now to inspect your vessel.”
And that was my very first brush with the law here on San Francisco Bay. In the fifty-odd years I have boated on the Bay and Delta, I have never even been questioned. I was beyond the odds. Bonnie and I commented many times, particularly when we were predicted log racing, that it sure would be a drag to get boarded now. The Coasties don’t brush off easily.
It was a sunny morning, and we were on our way to test out the bright shiny new autopilot that my wife Bonnie and my friend Robin and I just installed. Some of the members of our yacht club know about this, listening to the noise, confusion, banging, swearing, and other typical installation noises that had been occurring on Time Out recently.
We had just crossed under the Richmond Bridge when the Coast Guard cutter Hawksbill lowered an RHIB with four men in it and headed our way. I was talking to Bonnie on the phone when I spotted them.
“Sorry, honey. Got to go. We are going to be boarded by the Coast Guard and inspected.”
“Shoot, an inspection and I’m going to miss it!”
“Sir, before we board and without putting your hands in your pockets, do you have any firearms aboard?”
“No, sir.”
“Thank you, sir, we will be coming aboard now.”
Two men boarded us and introduced themselves as John and Juan. This brought a few laughs as I asked innocently, “Which one is which?”
They explained their mission, which was to inspect our boat as being compliant with current United States Coast Guard regulations. I explained that my wife and I were United States Power Squadron members, that she was the Educational Officer for Marin Squadron, and I was the Assistant Educational Officer in charge of the public boating courses. John remarked that they were glad to meet members of the Power Squadron. They actually knew of the organization, agreeing that it is the best kept secret in the boating community.
Many times, they board a boat whose operator doesn’t have a clue what he or she is doing. Coasties don’t know where to send them for instruction.
We proceeded with the inspection. This is what they wanted to see:
Identification of all persons aboard. I was the skipper, and my license was called in to the giant call-in place. Robin’s was not called in.
Vessel documentation or registration.
Two bilge spaces for cleanliness and order. One had to be an engine space with documentation numbers showing, and oil pollution placards mounted in place.
“Sir, we’re going to need to see an engine space.”
“Fine, step outside.”
“Why do I have to step outside?”
“Because your big feet are on the engine hatch.” That got a good laugh.
“Hey, John, look at this clean bilge.” That pleased me. Further, we have a fixed fire fighting unit, and they noted that.
Running lights, sound producing device, throwable life ring or cushion, current flares, garbage placard, fire extinguishers and PFDs (we were wearing ours, so we automatically complied). Time Out is less than 39 feet, so we didn’t need a bell, a waste disposal plan or a set of Colregs, although we have all of them.
Throughout this exercise, John and Juan paid close attention to our actions and movements. I didn’t ask, but I expect they were looking for signs of intoxication. The only refreshment visible was coffee, and the boat was in clean condition.
I cannot stress how much difference this made. Both of the officers mentioned that neat, shipshape boats have a much easier time with the boarding process than do sloppy, messy boats. Further, we were friendly and agreeable. That helped speed things up as well. Messy, unorganized boats with unhelpful boaters can drag and inspection out to an hour.
Throughout the whole boarding, we were all having a good time, laughing, joking and generally enjoying the experience. We discussed the need for boardings, the practice the Coasties need, the education of boaters, and the premise that an educated boater is a safer boater.
They wanted contact information for the United States Power Squadrons, which I gave them. I thought it a bit odd that they never mentioned the U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary, an excellent teaching and safety organization right under their umbrella.
As we toured the boat they commented on the nice ride. I told them that not only was it a Grand Banks and they never roll, but further, I left the shiny new autopilot engaged idling ahead into the wind and chop.
The whole inspection lasted about 20 minutes. We received an inspection certificate, our “get out of jail free” card. We all learned something from the encounter. At all times the Coast Guard was friendly, courteous and professional.
Later, looking at the inspection certificate, I noticed that the date and time on it was for the next day and for about 5:30 p.m. Go figure. I always knew the government ran to the beat of a different drummer.
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