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I recently had an experience which would take that exact thought process and perhaps expand on it slightly: “If a complete idiot slipped at the top of an old slimy, icy, slick dock ramp and proceeded to slide down the entire length, gum-booted feet flailing skyward, buttocks actually becoming airborne after contact with each tread board but returning to earth at the precise moment in order to make maximum contact with the very next tread board and thusly continuing in this fashion all the while gathering speed at an altogether alarming rate relating to both the extreme angle of said ramp at low tide and the bulbous condition of the idiot’s arse having done little exercise other than being sat upon in front of a fire reading countless books extolling the inevitable collapse of the western oil-based economy as well as the mental health risks of extended self-imposed periods of total isolation, reaching the bottom of the ramp at some totally immeasurable velocity and dropping the final eight inches or so onto a wet old algae-covered rough cut cedar planked float all the while in seemingly complete contradiction to the laws of common physics continuing to accelerate substantially accumulating icy cedar slivers the size of chopsticks all along an area of the idiot’s anatomy that in spite of the weather seemed to be rapidly heating to a point where spontaneous combustion was not only likely but was becoming inevitable, realizing that this float comes to an abrupt end in a few short yards, capped by a 8×8 bull rail and followed only by the wide expanse (and depth) of the icy unforgiving Pacific Ocean, said idiot having opened one eye hoping to come up with some plan as to at least slow progress somewhat before arriving at the fore mentioned terminus, he spots one of his feet some distance away in the corner of his eye but even more amazingly in spite of encroaching middle-age and the accompanying loss of dexterity finds his genitals as close to the end of his nose as ever before in life, crashes into the bull rail with an impact that should have snapped both the bull rail as well as his spine but instead only shatters what minimal amount of self-esteem made it to the bottom of the ramp, realizing only now that throughout the entire journey has been emitting a shriek so loud and shrill that large predatory animals were leaping into the water all across the island attempting to escape to the mainland. With no one around to hear it, did he make a sound?